Christchurch

I hitched over the hill from Takaka to Motueka where I took a water taxi into the Abel Tasman park to meet up with my friend Lennie. He is working for a tour company as a chef in a lodge in Torrent Bay.

What an amazingly beautiful place! A small town on a sand spit in an isolated little bay. The tide floods the estuary and lifts the boats off their morings.

Lennie and I had dinner, and wandered across the mud flats in bare feet. Textures change and the mud gives way to gravel gives way to cockles and seaweeds. Crunch. Crunch as our flat feet squish their existence.

In the next bay over are some glow worms in tiny caves. They even distribution and steady glow seem almost artificial in this wilderness.

We left the park and drove, cross country, over the Lewis pass to Christchurch. We listened to David Bowie in the car and screamed as the mountains gave way to the broad and endless Canterbury Plains that excited so the early European settlers.
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Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills
and put your helmet on

Ground Control to Major Tom
Commencing countdown,
engines on
Check ignition
and may God's love be with you

Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Liftoff
---------------------------

Ian and Lennie live in a beautiful house in Sumner. We painted the outside of the house in dark stain, taking breaks to muck around and go for walks.

This is picture of me wearing a dress that belongs to my dear friend Noddi.

Reflections and Plans

Everyone is gone and the farm is quiet. And a few quiet days of peace are welcome rest after a week of intense festivities.

What can I say about Summer Camp at Autumn Farm? Well, the weather was unusually bad and the turnout this year was lower than usual. But after dancing every morning and laughing all day these past two weeks have been some of the happiest of my life.

A sweet and tender relationship with two boys leaves me bouncing for more.

But seasons change and I have decided to take some time away from Autumn Farm - I go top Christchurch with my friends Ian and Lennie, and then WWOOFING in Nelson for a week at least.

Andrew, Shaun and James at Doctor's Beach

Doctor's beach is the local gay beach in Golden Bay. Shaun, Andrew and I spent the day swimming, sunbathing and taking pictures.

Photos by Rodney Love

These pictures are were taken by Rodney Love over summer camp at Autumn Farm.

Full moon ceremony

Last night was full moon, and one of my most special memories of Autumn Farm.

At dusk we gathered for a circle. Holding hands, we came to a place of silence and contemplation as each of us considered eachother, holding each face in our gaze.

We looked fabulous, having raided with dress up box to find outfits which reflected something we wished to say goodbye to from the year past. I chose violence as my theme and dressed as mars - with orange war paint and second world war army shirt.

We set off, across the stream and made silent progress towards the labyrinth, which John had beautifully decorated.

"A maze is a game", said Peter, "A labyrinth is a journey".

What a sacred space. Each in turn, we entered the labyrinth, eyes down, feet soft, in silence. My flip flops clicked and clacked so I discarded them on the side of the path.

After our labyrinth ceremony of letting go, we retired to the tipi for refreshments.

Cabaret

The second day of the new year and I am so full of energy, high from last night's performance.

Andrew and I have been working for days on our parts for the annual Autumn Farm cabaret. This year's theme was Ang Lee's movie Brokeback Mountain and the subsequent spin off porn movie BareBack Mountain

Our version (the uncut version) was a little more raunchy and intersperced with baroque classical tunes.

Andrew and I took the lead roles - Anus del Mar (whose been grazing sheep all his life in Closet, Wyoming) and Jack Off Twist (who used to work as an entertainer in the navy). Two cowboys, thrown together by their love of men AND sheep.

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BAROQUE BACK MOUNTAIN - SCENE 1
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The scene begins in the waiting room for the hiring agent. Jack Off Twist is shaving. One side of his face, then the other. One leg, then the other leg.








Anus, off stage, enters left. Swaggering, chewing gum. He eyes up the audience. Taking their presence in,
he spits his gum into the audience. PPHHHLUPPP!


Anus pulls a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. Lights up and takes a drag (stage fright abated!).

ANUS : "Do you wanna smoke?"

JACK : "I'd love a fag."

The seduction begins.





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BAROQUE BACK MOUNTAIN - SCENE 2
--------------------------------------------

Pete is playing the hiring agent.

HIRING AGENT: "Jack Off Twist, get into my office!".

Jack enters stage right,

JACK OFF: "Yes sir"

HIRING AGENT: "So Jack Off, tell me about your work experience"

JACK OFF: "Well, I used to work in a factory pakcing fudge."

HIRING AGENT: "You're a professional fudge packer?"

Jack Off, secures his job with a quick blow job under the table, with the inevitable and enormous cum shot (yogurt and water) from his mouth, splattering the floor.

Jack Off gets the job.

HIRING AGENT: "Anus del Mar, get into my office!".

Anus enters stage right. Staggers on stage, fingers tucked into his belt. He chews, and surveys the audience, launching another glob of gum into the crowd. PPHHHLUPPP!

HIRING AGENT: "So Anus, why should I give you this job"


ANUS DEL MAR: "I LOVE SHEEP. Especially the black ones. Once you've had black, you never go BAAAAAAAAAAAAck"

The hiring agent throughs Anus on the table, pulls down his pants, and rapes him while Anus takes it all in his stride. Only emiting a few passionate BAAAA BAAAAs.

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BAROQUE BACK MOUNTAIN - SCENE 3
--------------------------------------------

Jack Off and Anus have packed their bags and head off to find a campsite.

Jack Off finds that his wrists keep getting limp when he's chopping wood. Asking Anus to help, Jack Off finds out that when holding a big chopper, Anus swings both ways.



Anus asks Jack Off to help him pitch the tent. While Jack Off is helping Anus put his peg into the hole, under the tent canvas a bear (Grant) enters the stage.











The two cowboys are very scared. The bear roars and growls. Luckily it seems to be a friendly bear as after plugging the Autumn Farm Bear Week next month, a quick "shooo" gets the bear to scarper.

"I hate bears", pants Anus, "but I love sheep!"

As Anus is singing a song about his love for sheep, Jack Off has a brain wave and realises the way to Anus's heart may be more animal than he expected. Jack Off seduces Anus by donning a sheep skin and giving his very best baabaa.

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BAROQUE BACK MOUNTAIN - SCENE 4
--------------------------------------------

Elma and Loreen are married to Jack Off and Anus. They have long had their suspicions of Jack Off and Anus. In particular, their "fishing trips" seem more than suspect.


They both go out to play bingo. Numbers are called.

Legs Eleven.

Two little ducks.

The girls bitch about their husbands. About how they are always going fishing but they never bring home any 'fucking fush'. How they stay at home ready for a big fry up and end up having to serve their families 'cold batter soup'. How they are fed up with have 'sore asses'.

The scene ends as Elma gets full house.

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BAROQUE BACK MOUNTAIN - SCENE 5
--------------------------------------------

Anus and Jack go fishing. They find a log by a stream and cast their rods. They discuss their wives, how they think that they should leave them.

Jack Off raises his eyes to the sky. "I love fish", he says.

Anus replies matter of fact: "I prefer sheep." He pauses. "I love you Jack"

"I love you Anus", replies Jack.

Anus: "I love your anus, Jack"

Jack: "I love your anus, Anus"

Both men are very much in love. They kiss passionately and break into song.












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BAROQUE BACK MOUNTAIN - SCENE 6
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Elma and Loreen have divorced their husbands and have writen about their trials and tribulations in a best selling confessional expose entitled "DUTCHED BY A NANCY BOY".



They are interviewed, live, on TV, on a top chat show where they tell the stories of their marriages to those sordid and dispicable nancy boys.

Summer Camp

Since Christmas, Autumn Farm has been in inundated with rain AND men.

Summer Camp is in full swing, with men from all over the world attending what is a rather drunken and celebratory week of fun, frivolity, interesting connections, bed hopping and too much booze.

New Year's Eve celebrations filled the skies with fireworks and smoke, although my evening's fun was tempered with the knowledge that tonight I perform, on stage, for the first time in the life since primary school.

For the first day of the new year sees Autumn Farm's annual cabaret and I am playing Anus del Mar, erstwhile lover of Jack Off Twist - cowboys brough together by a love of sheep and men, kept apart by their fish craving wives.